I know God is trying to teach me a lesson; I am just not a very good student. Patience has never been one of my strong points. My little boy has made me improve my patience greatly. As I wait for him to get in his car seat and he is distracted by every toy, book, and speck of trash in the floor board of my car. As I wait and remind him of every task he needs to do when he goes potty. As I wait for him to focus and finish his meal. But while I am better about adjusting to LPT (Little People Time), it is my life goals that I have issues. As I mentioned in an earlier (OK my only other post) that my work situation is in a bit of turmoil right now. I am waiting on half the building to get back from Spring Break so they can discuss what to do with me.
The second waiting game I am playing is for another baby. My “game plan” was to get pregnant last summer and have another baby this spring. The kids would be three years apart – perfect. Well, got pregnant in July and had a miscarriage in September. I know that baby just wasn’t meant to be. I am ok with it, most of the time. I am sure the end of next month, which would have been the baby’s due date, I won’t be ok.
When I got pregnant with my son it was a surprise – wonderful surprise – but yes a surprise. So we weren’t trying. With the pregnancy I miscarried, I got pregnant the second month. So after I had the miscarriage I thought we’ll wait the suggested three months and try again. I thought I don’t have any troubles getting pregnant, I am a fertile momma. Well five cycles later, no baby. Plus I have been having strange symptoms from ovulation until my period starts. So I went to the doctor this morning to see what my issue is. They are checking hormones, thyroid, etc. But she told me it sounds as though my body and hormones still aren’t back in line from being pregnant and I need to wait. If I am not pregnant in the summer, they will start looking into options to expedite things. And yes I know it is in God’s hands. If I am meant to have another baby it will happen. I know four years between kids isn’t a bad gap. And I know if I don’t have another child I do have a wonderful, healthy son for whom I am grateful. But all of this is not MY plan and I don’t want to wait. I don’t want to have doubts that I will not be able to get pregnant. So it goes back to learning patience. God has His work cut out.
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