I think no matter how secure we working moms are with returning to work, child care providers, etc. there is still that nagging doubt that raises its ugly head every now and then.
This morning on the way to daycare my son says he doesn’t want to go to school. When asked why he said, cause I don’t. After much prodding he said he didn’t love his friends and they made him sad and cry. Well that hit me right in the gut. I continued to prod as to what his friends did that made him sad. He said they bit and kicked him. Momma Bear in me told him that when they did, he needed to shove them back and then tell the teacher. I also took this opportunity to remind him of his friends that I knew were non-biters and how much he liked playing with them.
Now I know that some of the story may be a bit of three year old embellishment. And I know that this behavior is typical in daycares. But I don’t want my son to dread going to school. One of the kids he mentioned doing the biting is a repeat offender. I don’t want to be one of those mothers but I think my son has the right to go to school without fear.
I am sure some of you who read this are thinking – she told her son to push another child??? My son has always been very timid and shy. I am trying to teach him to stand up to himself. Perhaps telling him to shove another kid probably wasn’t the best solution but Momma Bear was coming out.
So I am looking for advice. How should I handle the three year old bullies?
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I always go with the "tell your teacher" until something else can be done. I have a girl-12, boy-9 and girl-5, I've seen it all. Hang in there. :)
Suzanne's Blog
Oh girl...you are preachin to the choir. I got my kid kicked out of his pre-k about a month ago because of all my complaints. So, we don't know each other but I'll give you my 2 (or 20?) cents. I'm a child and family therapist and I really like Becky Bailey's parenting books. She really coaches helping kiddos to solve problems themselves. So when my tot tells me someone did something like that (he is also a bit timid) I ask him:
"Did you like it?" and he says "no". Then I say, "You say to Johnny: 'DON'T push me, I don't like that. It makes me sad' and then go tell your teacher." If he is too shy to do it, I walk him over and help him. You'd be surprised how most kids react...
Hang in there...like I said, we just recently had daycare upheaval as well...it's the WORST part of being a working mom. Go with your gut.
Best,
Tina